After spending a month in Nepal, I decided that I wouldn’t be much of a Motorgirl if I didn’t partake in the insanity of the transportation in the Himalayas.  And of course, being a rider, I had to pursue this, not on the back of a yak or in a rickshaw but while straddling a motorcycle. 

One thing that I discovered quickly about Nepal is that there is certain way here.  A Buddhist way.  A  Hindu way.  A flow.  A psychotic flow, but a flow nonetheless.  A gushing river of animals, noise, incense, music, temples, gods, goddesses, two stroke engines and people and it all exists on a twisting pathway they call a road.  Even more insane, is that it somehow all works.  You simply have surf the madness.  So, me – Motorgirl – jumped on board a Honda Hero 250 and jumped feet first into the chaos.

 My riding experience can be simplified in a short HOW-TO-LIST.  Pay attention.  You never know when you’ll be riding on the highest roads in the world – beautiful, spiritual, chaotic - Nepal.

*Please note:  the general rule in Nepal is that there are no rules.  These are only tips based on a real life experience of one girl and her motorcycle. 

1. Always wear a scarf around your mouth and nose.  The pollution in the city of Kathmandu is very, very bad.
2. Wear a helmet that is not made from old newspaper. There is a whole story here…but I’ll save it for another time.
3. Ride on the left hand side of the road.  This is Nepalese traffic law.
4. Ride on the right hand side of the road.  This is the I-must-live traffic law.
5. Don’t worry about left-hand turners at intersections. It is the right ones that will kill you, so pay attention!
6.  Keep your tire pressure a few p.s.i. lower than usual.  It helps when you maneuver from asphalt to cobble stones to yak dung.
7. Make sure there is air in your tires.
8. Always use your horn. 
9. When passing children – honk.
10. When passing yaks – honk.
11. When passing chickens – honk.
12. When going into a corner – honk.
13. When you hit a bump – honk.
14. When you want to stop – honk.
15. Always honk.  Let everyone know you are coming.  And smile! Everyone in Nepal is very good at smiling back – the world could be burning down and they would still smile.
16. Gas stations are a mystery here.  I saw only one the entire month I was in Nepal.  Make sure the rental shop gas up for you, or at least tell you where you can get some.
17. Avoid cows at all costs.  They are sacred here and if you hit one…well, expect a lynch mob.
18. The unspoken speed limit is no faster than a cow will run.  And since cows are gods here…ignore this tip.
19. Never sit sidesaddle like the Nepalese women do unless you are riding a scooter - for obvious reasons.  And please, do not attempt the amazing third-world feat of balancing your wife, your kids, your goat and your groceries on one motorcycle.  We Westerners take up enough space as it is.
20. Big trucks with Krishna painted on the side are not incarnations of the God, Vishnu.  Move out of the way!
21. While you are riding, spit back over your shoulder and not forward – I need not explain this.  This is especially true if you are spitting out the black crap spewed from one of those big Krishna trucks.  Yes, take my advice - spit often.  Blachhh…
22. Temples for Ganesh the elephant god are the best place to park your bike.  He is the god of good fortune.
23. After reading these tips, one may be under the impression that a shot of rice vodka may be appropriate.  Do not drink and ride. No matter how tempting.
24. After reading these tips, one may be under the impression that a bit of hashish may be appropriate.  Do not smoke and ride.  No matter how tempting.
25. After reading these tips, one may be under the impression that a bit of hashish and rice vodka consumed together might be appropriate…yes.  Absolutely, just wait until after you get off your motorcycle!